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Episode 9 Transcript

Michael Hayes 02/17/2021 28

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Family, Food and Homesickness

Time: 49:03


family, coffee, aralia, chico state, home, people, homesick, black eyed peas, homesickness, lived, chico, ritual, feel, food, listening, podcast, life, recommendations, students, pandemic


He-Lo Ramirez, joshuah whittinghill, Teresa Hernandez, Petetoria Arifales, Aralia Ramirez, Introduction Music


He-Lo Ramirez 00:01

Heytanayem nikki yam sa He-Lo nikki Mechoopda Maidu. Hello everyone. My name is He-Lo and I’m a Mechoopda Maidu. We acknowledge and are mindful that Chico State stands on lands that were originally occupied by the first people in this area, the Mechoopda. And we recognize their distinctive spiritual relationship with this land and the waters that run through campus. We are humbled that our campus resides upon sacred lands that have sustained the Mechoopda people for centuries, and continue to do so today.


Teresa Hernandez 01:00

Hi Everyone, Welcome back to our podcast, first gen one of many. we’re excited to be here Today, to learn a little bit more about our topic of the day, which we’ll go over in a little bit. But first and foremost, again, we are first generation one of many, our mission is to create an archive of discussions with and about first generation student experiences in and out of the classroom. We hope to continue raising awareness and understanding provide voice for students and alumni as well as present resources for faculty, staff, and students working for and collaborating with first generation students. So super excited to be back. But of course, I do not do this podcast by myself. I have my wonderful co host with me, joshuah whittinghill.


Introduction Music 01:00

Introduction Music


joshuah whittinghill 01:45

Hi, Teresa. Thanks for thanks for being here. Again. It is always fun. If anyone’s been listening, you may have heard we’ve, we’ve been on a roll of getting these scheduled and recording and it’s been fun Teresa and I have been able to see each other and do two or three or more of these than we normally would. So it’s been great. And it is always fun to see you.


Teresa Hernandez 02:08

Yes, I’m excited. Super cool meeting everybody. But


joshuah whittinghill 02:12

yeah, that’s definitely that’s definitely one part of it. The the guests that come in have been great to get to know a little bit more. Even those that that we kind of know a little bit about or think we know quite a bit about we still get to learn more and more each time. So. So let’s get right into our quotes for the day. We have three of them there. They’re all pretty short and to the point. The first one comes from Jennifer bets. family isn’t designed by jeans, it’s love that makes families whole. I know that rings true for me, for Teresa and for our guests, from talking with them and hearing from them a little bit before the podcast. Our second quote comes from Desmond Tutu. You don’t choose your family, they are God’s gift to you as you are to them. Nice nice reminder, despite everything going on for us, in our in our nation and our in our local communities and personally in families, it’s a nice reminder of how how important it can be and looking at living in the day and appreciating what we can have and the relationships we get to have with family, depending on how you define that. So the last one comes from the ever famous, anonymous food is the ingredient that binds us together. Mmhmmm. Definitely one thing I know I’ve enjoyed a little bit more than usual is being home and and then eating quite a bit of good food. So


Teresa Hernandez 03:46

especially in getting over the holidays.


joshuah whittinghill 03:49

Yeah, the holidays for sure. And then the idea of leftovers is nice because for the most part they don’t last. That’s been good too. They don’t go they don’t go bad. You know like in before remote learning and working at home a lot of leftovers would end up not getting finished sometimes. But that’s good. So our episode if you didn’t pick up on it from the quotes, today will be about family food, and possibly homesickness. But to help us We are joined by two guests. First is Aralia Ramirez. Hi Aralia.


Aralia Ramirez 04:22

Hey, Josh, how are you?


joshuah whittinghill 04:24

Good. Good. Thanks for being here. It’s great to see you.


Aralia Ramirez 04:26

Hey, I’m happy to be here.


joshuah whittinghill 04:28

Yeah, so overall, you is the daughter of immigrants and a first generation college student who was born and raised in Chico, California. She attended Chico State where she earned her bachelor’s in sociology. at Chico State. She worked for the Educational Opportunity Program as a student which motivated her to continue her education to learn more about how to better support first generation, low income and students of color during their time in college. After graduating, she ventured to the University of Iowa, where she earned her master’s in higher education and student affairs. Currently she is working as the coordinator for the CSU Chico First Year Experience Program. Drum roll. All right. Thank you Aralia, again for being here. And it is great work you’re doing in the what you’ve been in your role now for about three months.


Aralia Ramirez 05:16

Since September.


joshuah whittinghill 05:19

Okay, so almost four months.


Aralia Ramirez 05:21



joshuah whittinghill 05:22

All right. Well, welcome. Welcome again.


Aralia Ramirez 05:23

Thank you.


Teresa Hernandez 05:25

Awesome. So super excited to have you early on. Next, we are joined by our second guest of the episode. So thank you to Petetoria roughly who’s here with us today. So hello, Pete. How are you doing?


Petetoria Arifales 05:40

Good. How are you?


Teresa Hernandez 05:42

Good. Good. Thank you for joining us today. Super excited to have you on here and hear from you a bit more. But a little bit about our guest. So she goes by her nickname Pete and is entering her final stretch at Chico State. She is a kinesiology with a minor in adapted physical education, and plans one day to open her own yoga studio to help others during their spiritual healing journey. And her spare time Pete loves watching movies, eating good food and going on adventures. So you’re literally perfect for this episode today and can’t wait to hear a little bit more about your experiences.


Petetoria Arifales 06:16

Thank you for having me. All right,


Teresa Hernandez 06:18

So let’s get started. I’m dying to know more about you both. And so let’s start off by kind of the maybe all encompassing question is how do you both define family?


Petetoria Arifales 06:33

Or family of course, like, you know, like, it definitely, like has different definitions for certain people. But for me, personally, I define family as you know, like blood is not thicker than water. Like for me personally, I don’t think that that definitely resonates with me, I think family is like, you know, people who come into your life, you know, for as far as like, you know, helping you and your journey, your healing process and your growing process. Of course, I think boundaries also like, you know, those who support you, not only like, you know, your mental and emotional and physical state, but also you know, just other things, so, like uplifting you and like just kind of being there for you know, as like a shoulder to cry on or somebody listening ear. And just like honestly, it could be family friends, it could be like, you know, acquaintances to stuff like them, it can definitely range very broadly for me.


Aralia Ramirez 07:21

Yeah, and I couldn’t, I couldn’t agree most I I started looking at these that this question specifically. And I’ve been having like, such a hard time to like really, like, define it. Because it obviously means different things to different people. But because you have the family that you’re like born into, then you have the family that you create, based on like, you know, your journey through life. And so for me, when I tried to narrow it down, I thought of like four words. And for me it was family means that there are there’s an element of trust. And there’s an element of love, and honesty, but the biggest part of it. The other word, the biggest part for me is the accountability piece. And I’ve had some family that I was like born into that I’ve been able to be honest with and got really get to know really well. And to hold each other accountable and to be there for each other. But I also have family that I’ve met, like in grad school, who are those same people for me. And it’s funny because I posted something on my Instagram, about my brother, Steve, who I met in Iowa, and I had another friend was like, wait, you have a brother named Steve. And I’m like, well, he’s not like my, my real brother. But like he’s family because of like, experience shared experiences that we’ve had. And like that relationship that you that I’ve built with them. So yeah, this question, I think it’s something that I’ve started to think about. And I’ll continue to think about and I think it’s okay for like that definition to grow and evolve as we grow and evolve to.


joshuah whittinghill 09:00

Yeah, it’s for me, it’s been a great pleasure and over the years to actually get to meet Aralia and Pete both as they came in to college, their first year, and we’ve had a number of great conversations around those things. And of trust, honesty, accountability, all those sorts of things. And we’ve learned from each other. And I know I call them family for me and there is a people talk a lot about it on the campus, about the offices, they work in maybe and say hey, we’re family, we’re family, but the things that Aralia mentioned really do kind of cement that for us. And it’s been great because I’ve learned a lot I know personally, from YouTube to be able to do better each day and to move forward and really be accountable because you two have definitely asked me some tough questions over the times, about work about personal life about those kinds of things. And what Aralia said, we want to go ahead and hear a little music in the background is to hear what she’s talking about, really to show what arises. Now the merchants kind of generous. Enjoy it. I think as you can hear that song really does bring it home. Anybody who might have skipped this far in the episode, for some reason might think we’re at the end of the episode, but we’re just getting started. So you shared some great insights on what your definition of family means for you, but, or the definition of it. But what does family mean to you? More on a deeper level? So either one of you, maybe Aralia, you start this one out?


Aralia Ramirez 11:53

Yeah, I think so my answer to that question ties into the original one where I was, I was just recently talking to my, my couple of my uncle’s about this about how, like, accountability is so important, especially during, especially now like what’s happening with COVID, for example, and like, being able to have Converse difficult conversations, about things happening in the world, even though, you know, we may differ opinions, to like, hold each other accountable to doing the right thing, especially during tough times. Like during this pandemic. And so for me, like, I really value like that part of family to be able to have those open and honest conversations, even when they’re uncomfortable. And also being able to support each other through difficult times. Because I think, in my situation, like, I grew up very close to my family, the family I was born into, and so they’ve seen me grow up, and I’ve been around for a long time, so they know me, to a different extent, a different level. So yeah, like family, to me means to be able to have those honest conversations and to be able to be there for each other. When things get get tough, and even through the good times to now pass it on to, to Pete


Petetoria Arifales 13:30

I actually definitely agree. You know, as far as, like, the accountability part, for family, but I do think like, for me, like family means like, acceptance, I think, like, that’s like, a really big part for me, because like, you know, my, like, relationship with my family has kind of changed. Like, since I got to college, of course, it cannot be I’ve been open to you know, different things like learning more about myself, expanding my knowledge and my education as far as like, you know, me taking different classes and meeting different people up like, like, my personality, like, you know, me as a president can have kind of definitely, like, you know, grown since I since I was in high school and middle school and all that. So, um, you know, also like me being able to kind of, like, you know, pay my bills like that has definitely, you know, I’ve grown a lot since being on my family and I feel like so, you know, accepting the fact that, you know, I may see things differently. And, you know, of course I can, I may believe things differently, you know, of course I can as far as going about things differently, too. But I think acceptance is a really big part in like, what family means to me, because I feel like, you know, if I’m coming to you with, you know, something, I feel like, you know, I’m passionate about and like, I feel like you know, I disagree with how you accepted it or how you went about it, you know, I always say like, you know, like it could have two reactions, you know, either you can accept it and, you know, grow from it and, you know, like work on, you know, trying to be a better support system or, you know, you’re going to like, you know, badgered a person and be like, no, like, you know, you’re wrong and like, you know, I believe in this and like this and I and so I feel like I definitely had In today’s situation when me my dad got into conversation and we didn’t necessarily, you know, kind of see eye to eye, but like, he reacted differently than I thought he was gonna be like, I thought he’s gonna, you know, be more understanding, but like, I can see, like, you know, but the generational gap we have like is just like some things aren’t always gonna, you know, be on the same level. So I think acceptance is definitely a big part of family and you understand that that person is going to be that person, and you know, kind of working with that person, you know, or like, you know, trying to figure out a better way to kind of maintain relationship with it’s not always, you know, roses and lollipops.


Teresa Hernandez 15:36

Yeah, exactly. There’s, there’s different dynamics that happen within, you know, not only our definitions, but within our families and who we consider to be a part of our family. I know for for me, at least, when I think about family, I think about my my nuclear family. But I also go right away, think about the family I created when I lived in San Francisco and kind of who, who I considered there as my family. And I think about, you know, being now back in Chico, things I missed doing with them and kind of being like, Oh, I wish and even with COVID I wish we could go out and do this, I wish we could go to our favorite place and hangout and go eat and be like, that’s something we do all the time is, you know, once you start talking to someone and developing that friendship, that then turns into that stronger bond where you consider them that family member, like that whole time has transitioned over certain moments and memories that we have. And a lot of the memories I have for myself personally are going out and trying out new places to go eat coffee shops, you know, going on hikes and things like that. So it kind of ties us all in together. And when I think about that, to see if you all have some similar experiences like that, and so if so, what kind of relationship does food play within your family dynamic?


Petetoria Arifales 16:52

I can definitely I can take the lead on this one. Um, so food, I feel like well, you know, okay, let’s look at my bio. So like, you know, food is definitely a big part of like, what I feel like I do, like left to go and try different places. I think food is honestly like a, I’ma say a peacemaker, my friend, my family, I feel like, you know, like, we can always, you know, go get some sushi, you know, or go to try, you know, try new restaurants and like, be able to sit down and like coexist, even if we aren’t on the same page. So I think like, food is definitely a gateway to like us, you know, like, you know, getting over our stubbornness, you know, and being able to kind of have a conversation come together as one. And, you know, then have like, you know, kind of conversation, like, you know, like, do you like this food, like, you know, what did you like about it, like, kind of getting out of like that, that funk that we were in. So it’s like, it’s definitely a peacemaker within my family and a chance for us to kind of get come together as one and like, not, like, let whatever he knows going on within society or the outside world. Like, it’s like this. So.


Teresa Hernandez 17:51

Right. Yeah. Kind of like a conversation. starter.


Aralia Ramirez 17:56

Yeah. And, and along the similar lines, one, like, thing that my family does consistently, every year is make tamales on Christmas Eve. And my family is huge. Like, there’s probably like 80 people like in this area, like, that all get together for Christmas, who are a part of my family and, but it’s that experience of like, making those like the tamles together in the morning, like before, Christmas that not only like brings us back together, but to get caught up on like, what is going on in each other’s lives. But I absolutely hate tamales and that may like shock some people who are listening right now. I always have like, since I was younger, we have it every year. And I always advocate for like a different meal option. They’re like, no, it’s tradition. Like we’re gonna like, that’s just it is what it is. So anyways, like that, for me, I still love going and helping because of the process and like the tradition to be with family during that time. In the morning, and the other thing that stands out to me too, is not necessarily like a food item, but like coffee, has all it has been a huge part of my family. And it’s probably the reason why I have the coffee addiction but coffee ever since I was little my grandparents would come over we would talk over coffee or my aunts and uncles would come over there would always be coffee at like 8pm You know? And I always thought that was normal until like, other like I started, you know, after I went to college and like me and other people are like, Why are you drinking coffee? It’s like 8pm and I’m like, well, it’s like a comfort thing. And so those are like two things that I’ve noticed from like my family and what we do to kind of connect and have conversation over either like The process of making something or over coffee to


joshuah whittinghill 20:05

Oh gosh, you made me laugh a few times there. Thank you. A couple of things that came to mind real fast I wanted to share with it’s beautiful that tamale part. So I have to ask though, is it is it the masa? Is it the veal?


Aralia Ramirez 20:18

oh I don’t like it?


joshuah whittinghill 20:19

or is it all of it just in general?


Aralia Ramirez 20:21

Yeah, so the questions I usually get like, what part of it? Don’t I like it? I’m sorry if people unsubscribe because I just like, don’t I don’t like tamles. But it’s the masa part for me. But I still like tortilla like I’d still eat tortilla, so it’s just like, the flavor of the masa in tamales, I can’t


joshuah whittinghill 20:44

yeah, it’s funny that the masa is the part I could just eat all day and skip the inside doesn’t get the feeling doesn’t matter. I could just eat masa all day. Yeah, hilarious. So Oh, coffee. Oh, gosh, people. My energy level is usually pretty high most of the time, and I’m energetic. And I you know, talk loud at times and just excited. And people think I’m just this coffee fiend and like, it’s good coffee. And I, I can count the number of cups I’ve had in my entire life. On one hand, how many? Five? Exactly. And I remember them all, because they have very specific moments in time when I did them. And, and so quick stories. One of them was when I first started working on campus and in the Education Opportunity Program. I was tired from being up late. I’m kind of a night owl in general, also. So I would think I would need coffee, but I don’t I just kind of wake up and go. And I went with someone to get coffee. I was like, Oh, sure. I’ll try it. Why not? And so they ordered their drink. And I just said, I’ll try that. That’s great. And I didn’t realize until afterwards that they had four shots of espresso in their drink. And so I drank it. And I was this was like at 9:30 in the morning or so I was just ready to go all day until two o’clock the next morning. I didn’t even feel tired yet. It was just crazy. So yeah, that was the that was the last time I drank coffee. Wow. 20 years ago, was the last time but the funny part of it is I have this very comforting connection and relationship with coffee because over the last say 10 or 11 years, I make coffee. Or my wife at home my partner I make 10 cups of coffee every night for her. So 365 days a year is about 3650 cups of coffee over 10 years. And I’ve never even tasted it. I just make it


Aralia Ramirez 22:39

so that you know that the right combination.


joshuah whittinghill 22:44

Yeah. It’s that ritual part though of making it makes me feel connected. And then she really appreciates getting the coffee in the morning and is always telling me how great it is. And then once in a while she’ll say, Oh, that one was a little bit strong last night. Yeah, and and then the fun part is our far family. And the connection to it is about a year ago or so I started having both of our kids join in so we’ll take turns making coffee now and so they’re on they’re on they’re on barista duty. Some nights too, and they make wonderful coffee and they don’t taste it either. So


Aralia Ramirez 23:18

yeah. Yeah, I have four different coffee maker three different coffee, like devices like the regular coffee pot and iced coffee maker and a French press. Yeah,


joshuah whittinghill 23:35

that’s in there, for sure.


Petetoria Arifales 23:37

Actually, you know, it’s funny that Teresa is the one that taught me how to make coffee in the office last year to pay for his time. And I bought I had a coffee maker for Christmas. And I’m like now me my roommates make a lot of time I’m like, I’m like, I think we put this much like I kind of eyeing it out but I’ll be like Teresa is someone who actually taught me how to make coffee.

Teresa Hernandez 23:54

I remember that. And then before that I love drinking coffee, but I would always just get it like I would never make it myself if I did. It’s just like the Keurig and just throw in the pot and it’s done. So when you ask me how to literally just shortly learned how to do it myself. Like when you actually measure out the coffee grounds and you put it in the filters. I was like oh yes, I know how to do it.


Aralia Ramirez 24:17

I mean, never want to talk about coffee any like how to make it any different coffee beans. I’m down like


Teresa Hernandez 24:26

definitely conversating about that after this.


joshuah whittinghill 24:28

Oh gosh. See, so and so us as family because I know we all have connected like we talk about the definition of family and and we are all part of each other’s family because we’ve had so many different interactions on for each of us at different times for different reasons. And I know Pete just mentioned her roommates. And I know one of the great things I’ve seen with Pete is living in Chico away from her family she’s born into and that part of me that she really has made some great family here in town. And she has shared over the years definitely that they have supported her and nurtured her through many different situations, both positive and negative. So that’s been great to see. For sure.


Petetoria Arifales 25:08

Because like, I stay with my best friends and so like, you know, you always look into college and you’re like, yeah, like, you know, like, Don’t stay with your friends. Like, you know, that’s gonna be like, That’s bad. And I’m like, really? I’m like, No, like, for some reason. I mean, my best friend’s work, like, you know, we can get up and yell each other back like you hungry. Okay, great. late, so.


joshuah whittinghill 25:29

Yeah. And so we had another question.


Aralia Ramirez 25:33

I live in college my entire year


Petetoria Arifales 25:37



Teresa Hernandez 25:38

Oh, I think we overlapped.


joshuah whittinghill 25:39

Okay, that’s, that’s fine. That’s great. And so we did have another question. But we kind of touched on it already. But if you wanted to add to it, it was do any meals or rituals stand out to you, we heard about tamales standing out for different reasons. But anything else stand out. Because that’s a big part as human beings, right? The the Act, the ritual of things is the important part sometimes. Because it could be just like you said, tamales part is great. You don’t eat them, but you still find comfort, and this nurturing love and just connection. So any, any other standout that you want to add at all, by chance? It doesn’t have to be any. I’ve got a whole list of some, but hey,


Petetoria Arifales 26:28

well, actually, like, you know, like you were saying earlier, like, you know, but like, you know, you come together to make like tamales like, you know, what your family like, I think that’s like gumbo from my family. I play, you know, like, um, and it’s funny, because, you know, like, You’re lucky to get gumbo maybe twice or three times a year. Like, we like my grandma, and I’m only making like, during the holidays, you know, enter new year, you know, like a fresh start. And so like, when I hear people who like, Oh, yeah, I don’t like gumbo. Like, that’s like shrimp water. I’m like, the disrespect, like, on so many levels. So like, you know, like, my, like, my grandma, like, everybody has a different like, you know, like ways like making it like, my grandma kind of buys a base like just like, you know, come together to my grandma’s house. You know, you’re all like, you know, enjoying like, you know, Gumbo and like, gumbo, like you don’t know, like, it’s like, having so many different like seafood items looking like shrimp crab, you know, you have sausage and chicken, it’s kind of like a big stew, but you put it over rice or depending on what you know, how you eat it. But yeah, like, we come together, like we kind of just like all like, pile up in the living room and watch a movie together. Like we all have, like, you know, our bowls and our trays and like, you know, like our crackers without on the sides. Like that is definitely like a ritual we kind of come together for the new year to kind of in a year on a different tradition. And then also, um, is like black eyed peas for some reason, I guess. Like it means like, good luck. You know, like, when I used to go to Texas to visit my family, like my aunt would always be like, yeah, you know, like, make sure you know, you get you a scoop of black eyed peas, you know, like to like enter them in here with some good luck. And I’m like, okay, peas are nasty. Like, I don’t like you’re supposed to be good luck.


joshuah whittinghill 28:04

So I’m with I’m with you, though I’m with you Pete you. You made my stomach cringe when you said Black Eyed Peas because the music is great. That’s great, right? That’s wonderful. But I cringed because I haven’t eaten Black Eyed Peas probably for about 43 or 44 years, when I used to walk home that ages me a little bit. But I would walk home from kindergarten and first grade. And I could smell Black Eyed Peas coming from my house. And I would turn around and go to the neighbor’s house and hang out for a little bit and get snacks. I’d be filled up on food, so I didn’t have to eat the Black Eyed Peas.


Teresa Hernandez 28:45

Oh my gosh, I’ve never tasted that. So I would have no knowledge of that.


Teresa Hernandez 28:51

Like there’s a certain way of making them but just like I just like I just never like I’ve never liked it like black eyed peas or like stuffing or peas like just peas. And you know, like, those are some items that I’ll would never eat.


Teresa Hernandez 29:08

All right. Well,


Aralia Ramirez 29:10

yeah, so definitely. I mean, I was thinking about that, too. And I feel like in terms of talking about the ritual portion is kind of hard because I’m thinking, Well, you know, maybe as a family, we don’t have very many rituals. Besides, when the holidays come about, we all get together to cook the food. But I feel like at least for me, personally, I have a little ritual every morning where I will go get my coffee every morning. But if I don’t even on weekends, and if I don’t do that, I literally feel like my day hasn’t started off right? Or like, I just feel like I’m not awake. So I feel like a little ritual kind of keeps me going every day. And it’s not something that I have my mom hooked on. So she bet I’m sure she’s happy about that.


Teresa Hernandez 29:49

So I know some of you, you’ve already got experience.


joshuah whittinghill 29:53

Sorry, Teresa. Here we go. Okay, so we don’t Yeah, we don’t want to disrespect Black Eyed Peas. There you go.


Teresa Hernandez 30:16

Yeah, shut up. In terms of your both of your guys’s experience not being away from home for a certain amount of time has, how has that felt for you being you know the feeling of homesickness? And how have you felt that impact you during your, whether it’s your educational journey or your personal life? whoever’s ready? Yeah,


Aralia Ramirez 30:41

I can, I can go first on this one. Um, so I, I did my undergrad at Chico State. And that was raised here. So it wasn’t until I went to Iowa, that I started feeling homesick. And I’d actually do these presentations for first year students that I was a part of my grad program on like homesickness, too. And it was like three of those presentations for them that I actually realized, like, oh, shoot, like what I’ve been feeling is homesickness. And it’s like, it’s like, you’re, it’s kind of like grief a little bit like, because everything that you’re used to, you know, you moved away from that. And so you’re getting to know your surroundings more, and building those relationships in that community more and wherever you’re at. So for me, that was in Iowa City. But during this time, like, right before I came back to Chico State, I was in North Carolina. And when the pandemic started it I thought a lot about my family. And I thought a lot about like, how I was feeling still homesick, I don’t think it’s something for me that has ever that ever went away. It’s just like, how I learned to cope with it. And so part of the reason why I moved back was because I realized, like with a pandemic, and everything that is happening in our country, that I wanted to be closer to my mom, my siblings and like that family. And so, yeah, so for me, it’s had a huge, huge impact, like in Iowa and in North Carolina, but I was able to in Iowa, build that community. And even sometimes being back in Chico, I still feel a little homesick for my community in Iowa, if that makes sense. So, like the people that I the family that I built in Iowa. And so it’s just like a weird, it’s like a weird feeling that I’m still processing. I’m like, I’m home. But I feel like homesick for, like certain parts, other places that I’ve lived. So I don’t know if any of you have ever felt that or if he if you’ve experienced any of that, too.


Petetoria Arifales 32:56

I think it’s funny, like when we talk about homesickness, because like, I went on the trip when I was inside Middle School, like so my teacher, like my mentor, she took us to Atlanta for the first time to see the my dream college, which was Spelman so like we went to Atlanta for like, a week or so. And like, all my friends were like, crying and they’re like, oh, like, you know, I miss home and I was like, like, home like, I was like, man, like, this is my new home. Like, you know, when I moved, it was just like, so funny. And so I feel like homesickness like, never like really hit me until like, maybe like my junior year out here in Chico. Like, I only like an hour and a half away, but like my family has kind of like dispersed like after like my sisters and like I have to sisters LA I have one in Atlanta like so all my siblings are kind of spread out. Like we’re like, we’re never home all together anymore. So like, I feel like I don’t get homesick as much because that’s like I did like, I have made a foundation in Chico so like, I do, like, you know, when I do go home, like, I do you like miss my brothers and all of them. Like, I talked to my family, like almost like, every week, so I feel like I don’t get homesick as often. But I do like, you know, do kind of miss like, you know, the home cooked meals and making funny memories. But I feel like my family has kind of like distance like been like really distance, like recently, like, with the pandemic and everything. Like I did start to kind of realize, like, you know, like, one life was too short, like, you know, like, what if I can’t even like, you know, say goodbye to this person, like because I’m not even home anymore. So like, I feel like it definitely hit as far as like, you know, cherishing my loved ones and understanding their like, life was too precious to you know, be you know, having like this, like negative like, you know, we’re arguing like, you know, Okay, I’m gonna pass that argument because like, you know, at the end, I do love you. And so I feel like homesickness is kind of like it’s kind of like a way for me, it kind of goes up and down every now and then but yeah, so


joshuah whittinghill 34:50

no, that all makes sense. And what a really a touched on about this idea of grief in a sense because as you do new things or you move to new places, and have to be way from from those that you’re familiar with and have those long term relationships with and that deeper connection, there is the sense of loss that comes with any kind of change that you make. And so then, you know, I know for me also, I’ve gone through all those different stages at different times with feeling homesick. And it wasn’t always that I felt connected to the house or to a certain location, but it was the people, of course, in those areas, for the most part. I mean, sometimes I wish I could go back to my bedroom in third grade. But hey, that’s a whole nother story. Right. But, yeah, that’s good to hear those things. And it’s one of the reasons we really wanted you to to come on today, because we knew you had some good insights and experiences around family that probably listeners have as well that are common. So hopefully, it’s something that’s touching some listeners and, and helping them to think about their processing of what they’re going through during this time as well, because the next question leads right into that. I’ve had some conversations with students and colleagues and the idea of homesickness now is taking on maybe a different feel. can either of you speak to that as far as homesickness, maybe in the sense of that you’re at home all the time?


Aralia Ramirez 36:26

Like sick of home?


joshuah whittinghill 36:30

That’s what some people have said, it’s like this this homesickness, of like, how do I get away from here, and I don’t want to feel guilty about it. But there is I just, I just need that space sometimes because it used to be built into many people’s lives, to leave their house and have that time either alone or with other people outside the family. So can either of you share about that? How that’s been for you?


joshuah whittinghill 37:01

we’re nothing but polite on the show. We’re nothing but polite on the show. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.


Teresa Hernandez 37:06

I’ve experienced kind of like the opposite. Like now when I think back on like, you know, when my friends or whatever, I had the opportunity to go here, go there. And I was kind of like, man, like, I don’t feel like going I’d rather stay home and like watching movie. And now when I think back of those moments, I’m like, Oh, I should gone like little doing No, I’m sick of being home. And I like ran out of all movies to watch with. I just binge everything. And so but it’s a different transition. But I think what it has made me like what I take away from it, and she’s being like, hopefully in the future, you know, when that time comes a little bit more, kind of like living in the moment type of thing. And being if I have an opportunity to go somewhere, do something, even if I’m like too cold or too tired to like, try and push myself to do it, instead of kind of staying home because at least for me, I have the ability to stay home whenever so it’s more putting myself out there.


Petetoria Arifales 37:54

No, I completely agree. Like, I think like I was talking to like, one of my really good friends the other day and like we were like talking because like she was like yeah, you know, like I’m saying the oddest money up, you know, for like, you know, to move out, you know, to do this and neither I kind of miss out on trips, you know, in between, like, because like you trying to, like save money, like, you know, you’re trying to like plan for the future. But I think like the pandemic and everything else that we showed, like, you know, for me to, like, be a little more grateful as far as like, you know, and like, take advantage, like, as I was saying, take advantage of like those situations and like those times because, like, before, like, I wasn’t a homebody, but like I would definitely like you know, I’ll go to the movies and all that too. But I was like, Nah, like, I’m gonna stay in the house. Like this weekend, I’m fine like, but I’m staying like I feel like because like I’m in Chico and I’m on my own spot. Like I can, I can kind of tolerate being in the house more that is not as bad as I thought it was gonna be it is kind of like, you know, irritating, like going from like, my meetings from my room to the living room back and forth. Like that’s, like, tiring after a while, like, I can cry, lose my mind. But, you know, like, when I go back home and visit my mom, like she’s like, yeah, like, I’m gonna lose my mind. You know, I’m in the house, dad and the brothers like, she likes so it’s like, it’s like, it’s a definitely a different like home. Like, I’m sick of home like, situation, like if I was like, at home, and I was like, Yeah, I gotta get out. Like, I can’t be in this house for too long. Because like, there’s too much going on, like being in Chico and like, kind of like having like, me and my roommates. Like, we’re all kind of like, doing like different things, like kind of different time periods. Like I feel like, it’s still like, manageable. So I tend to be like, I might lose my mind like to bad but I still do, like, try to like get out of the house more


Aralia Ramirez 39:32

Yeah, and for me, I lived at home like I mentioned earlier in undergrad, but then I was in Iowa for two years and in North Carolina for like a year and a half. And then I moved back in with my mom and my little sister and never in my life. Did I think that my mom and I would essentially be coworkers because she worked from home, down the hall from me and so I lived with them for about Two months ish. And I realized for myself after living alone, essentially in different states, you learn to live by yourself and moving back in like, to your childhood home bring can bring up a lot of different emotions and feelings and dynamics and, and I’m lucky and super privileged to be able to say, you know, for me and like my mental health and like where I’m at in my career, like, I’m going to choose to, like rent an apartment. So I literally live three minutes from my mom. But I do have my own apartment now. And like, not everyone can do that. And I feel really, really privileged to be able to do that. But yeah, so like a lot of people, a lot of students, people who aren’t students like have moved back in like to their childhood homes to which like, is a whole nother podcast.


joshuah whittinghill 41:03

On a side note, if you’d like to order any coffee, you can go by 555 Coffee lane in Chico, California and Irelia will serve you up.


Aralia Ramirez 41:13

is not my religious?


joshuah whittinghill 41:16

If you lived on coffee lane, that would be very serendipitous for you, wouldn’t it? That would be I’m gonna search for a house on coffee.


Aralia Ramirez 41:24

Let me know if there’s a coffee lane.


joshuah whittinghill 41:26

Yeah, haha. All right. Well, unfortunately, again, we are coming to the end of our episode. But before we do, we’re going to share any recommendations today that the listeners can benefit from Aralia. Do you have any recommendations to share today?


Aralia Ramirez 41:47

Yeah, so I have a couple. So one. Another podcast that I started listening to a lot is called Latinos who lunch. And it is to Latino men who like host his podcast and talk about different topics about what’s happening in the world. But they do have some episodes where they talk about food, and they’ll talk about food throughout those episodes, like throughout a lot of the episodes too. And they talk about culture, like the lack Latinx culture in relation to food too. And so that was that’s a pretty interesting podcast if you’re interested. Another thing that’s more related to the element of like homesickness, that we were speaking about, something that really helped me during the time that I lived away from home, and even now is Brene Browns work on vulnerability, and courage. And so she has a podcast if if, you know, if you’re listening to this podcast, and you and you look like more podcasts listen to it’s called unlocking us. And I believe she has another one that’s called dare to lead. So she studies vulnerability and courage and leadership. And so is a great way to just reflect on what’s happening. And in her book, dare to lead is also really great. So those would be just a couple of recommendations of things that I’ve listened to that have been nice to listen and reflect on.


joshuah whittinghill 43:21

Thank you very much. And as always, the recommendation from today will be in the show notes and on the website as well. That’s first gen one of you can check it out there. Pete What do you have for us today?


Petetoria Arifales 43:36

I was going to think about some in regards to food because like I do watch a lot of Food Network’s but two podcasts that I do listen to is one is called the goddess confessions, and it’s on Spotify or listened to and so she kind of just goes into like different like affirmation chance he can do, you know, different like spiritual healing journey that she helps her as far as personally in like, how to kind of like, go through those steps like with you live within you. And that’s pretty cool. And then another one was called the U effect. And it’s kind of just talking about, like, you know, like your childhood traumas, you know, stuff and how to get past those, of course, I cannot get recommendations, I’m really into affirmations recently. So if you are looking for some different affirmation podcasts, those are two of the great ones that I like. And so she also talks about, like, you know, going back and like changing, like, you know, bad habits and like how to form new ones. And of course, like how to juggle, like, you know, like, school and like, you know, life and education and all that so


joshuah whittinghill 44:34

those are great and, and I was kind of sure when you had recommendations coming. One of them had to be connected to Tupac


Petetoria Arifales 44:42

Okay, I was gonna say the Tupac poll, you know, poetry book, but I didn’t I didn’t want to say it.


joshuah whittinghill 44:47

Hey, no, no known doing enough with you. And you’ve been part of some research that was able to do on music and social emotional learning and I know that Tupac really resonates with many, many decisions you make and things you do in your life. So, so go ahead use it Tupac book of poetry.


Petetoria Arifales 45:07

Yes. And he also has a documentary on I believe prime that he kind of is like, it’s an old documentary, but it kind of goes into like, you know, like his way of thinking like his, like his dissection of like, society when he was in prison. And then there’s also meek Mills, a documentary that also watched on amazon prime, that was pretty good.


joshuah whittinghill 45:26

Perfect. Thank you. Teresa, do you have any recommendations today for us?


Teresa Hernandez 45:32

Yes, so I do a really quick one. I’m, so if you’re like, a lot of the times, so self help, and or like self care has been a huge thing, right? Like, what does that even mean? How do you even get started on it? And I feel like I started asking myself that question, especially, you know, with a bunch of like, massive changes in my life recently. And so I was kind of like, you know, we’re gonna look into this self help self care thing, but like, how do you even get started? And so there’s some recommendations from some of my friends. I was like, Well, what better way than to read a book about how to do just that. So I do, and I finished it. I really liked it. I felt like even the little time, you know, because I went through it so fast. I felt like in the time span that it took me to read it, I was able to implement a lot of the things within my daily life. And it’s like, surprisingly, I had some doubts. That’s why I’m saying surprisingly, because I was a doubter. But actually, I had doubts, but it actually did help me feel more confident, a lot better with myself and in myself. So definitely recommend if you’re kind of at that level where I was, read you’re a badass. It’s called so the whole title is you are a badass, how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life. And so the author is Jen and I may be pronouncing this wrong. So I’m already gonna say disclaimer, but the author is Jen sincero. On and I definitely recommend looking into that book, or if you you know, getting a copy and just reading through it easy read, but a lot of useful things you can actually implement in your daily life and nothing super crazy and existential where you’re like, when am I going to get to that point? So that that’d be my recommendation?


Aralia Ramirez 47:05

That’s so funny. You say that I was gonna recommend it, but I haven’t finished reading it right now.


Teresa Hernandez 47:09

Yeah you’re gonna look?


joshuah whittinghill 47:13

Well, yeah, I don’t really have any recommendations for today. That’s quite a bit for the show notes. There. So I’d say maybe just listen to music. If you’re not already listening to music, listen to music. So we have some background music as Teresa takes us out. Thank you both for being here.


Petetoria Arifales 47:34

Yes, thank you.


Teresa Hernandez 47:36

Thank you both for joining us today and for taking time out of your day. to have these conversations with us definitely could go on a lot longer but for the sake of time and for our listeners time. Um, but yes, again, everything that we that we did recommended our guests recommended are going to be in the show notes. And thank you all again for joining us. And thank you to the listeners for once again, listening to our episode about food, family and homesickness with the first generation one of many,


joshuah whittinghill 48:05

I don’t have any recommendations today except for just listen to music. We have some background music, as Teresa takes us out for the day. Thank you both for being here.

Teresa Hernandez 48:18

thank you to our guests for being here and joining us today and have a conversation with us taking time out of the day to do so. And again, thank you to our listeners for tuning in to our episode about family food and homesickness. Make sure you catch our next one and thanks for listening to first generation one of many

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